why didn't you poke me back
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sext me about skeletons
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
