just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
