I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He? As in you personified your dick?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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