My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
that is very illegal...i love you.
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