i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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