Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
