Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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