i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
