I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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