Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
