weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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