hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
