I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i think i just lost a toe
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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