i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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