How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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