I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
