we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
