your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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