I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
