I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
