It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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