Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
