so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I love you. Go after that dick
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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