You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
