we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
