He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
