You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
