I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
