Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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