i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
