My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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