I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
