Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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