U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
