Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
