walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
