Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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