I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The Olympian is in my bed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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