What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
