I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
