Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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