I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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