Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
