stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
