How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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