Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
