In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
