I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
