I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
