Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
