drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
